Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem

On the way home from school yesterday, my daughter told me that a boy who attended another school committed suicide over the weekend. His name was Grant Egbers. I don’t know anything about him or his situation; but he attended a top-notch school, belonged to a neighboring parish, and a quick google search indicates he had the world at his feet. And he was just a year and a couple of weeks older than my daughter.

There have been several high-profile suicides in our area recently. A few weeks ago a father of twins who attend our local high school shot himself in a local park. In a story making national headlines, a local transgender teen committed suicide on December 28th.  Last spring, the FBI become involved in the hunt for a local college student who was later discovered to have committed suicide.

Every time. And I mean EVERY TIME, I have had the same thought – how tragic that this person isn’t around to feel the outpouring of love and support that came in the wake of their deaths.

There aren’t many words to add to the soul shattering tragedy of it all. I’ve had my own dark moments and can tell you that like everything else, they don’t last. I’ve heard suicide called a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I can’t improve on that.

RESOURCES

If you are a person who feels the sort of despair that must have afflicted these people, there is help out there – 24 hours per day. Many local communities have hotlines; here is the national one — 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If you are in crisis – CALL.

A professional I know recommended this organization for education and resources.

A mother of son at the same school as Grant shared the resources the school sent out:

* Tips for Parents- Helping Your Child Adjust

* Tips for Talking to Young People and Adults

* How Children Grieve

Critical Incident Reactions

* Comforting a Bereaved Child

* Suicide Myths and Facts

* Traffic Light- Reading the Signs and Signals

* Common Immediate Responses to Trauma– normal signs of distress in the moment

* Common Delayed Responses to Trauma– normal signs of distress to expect later

* Not My Kid:  What Every Parent Should Know About Teen Suicide

4 thoughts on “Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem”

  1. Oh, Katie, this is so tragic. Thank you for assembling all these resources. I’ve had some dark times myself, but I knew who to call, and I knew that I didn’t want to end my life, just the misery I felt at the time. xoxo, Kathi

  2. Katie, I stumbled across your post when I was trying to figure out what to tell my own 14-year-old daughter who had heard about this boy and wanted to talk about it. There was another suicide of a Seven Hills student in the fall, and the topic came up then too., It’s frightening that these kids keep the pressures so hidden. Thanks for posting the links.

    1. Thanks Dee. It’s so, so frightening. I didn’t know about the Seven Hills student. I also realized I forgot to mention the recent murder/suicide at Miami University.

      Thanks for being such a thoughtful parent and for leaving the comment.

      Katie

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